We spent the weekend at my mother's house. It is a 4 hour drive. I only go there 4 times a year. You'd think I want to spend time with my family? I used to enjoy spending time with my family. Then I had special needs kids.
My mother has a theory about my children. She thinks they need spanked more. She thinks that spanking will cause Matthew to stop having accidents. She thinks spanking will cause him to stop throwing a fit when she squirts his face with water while in a pool. She thinks that threats will cause him to stop crying about the water going in his eyes, mouth, and nose. She forgot to apologize. She thinks that if I spank Christopher it will force him to walk instead of us pick him up while he is tired.
My mother told me that I don't do enough with my children and pass the responsibility on to the teachers to teach my children. My children and I spend all day playing and I swear I have the ability to turn anything into a therapy. On the same token, I force my kids to do too many therapies and I should let them be kids. I don't correct Jonathan's speech enough and I should be embarrassed to take him anywhere. Jon has apraxia. If I corrected him for everything he said incorrectly, I'd do nothing but correct him.
My mother sat and told me my children were not well behaved yet while we were there in church we had several people who we didn't know walk over to us and tell us how wonderful our children were. Sad that strangers see the beauty in my children but my mother can't. Yet, while my niece started screaming in church, started kicking my sister, my mom, and my father, my mom started laughing and got upset when my brother-in-law tried to discipline her. My boys in church made not one peep. My boys were wonderfully behaved all weekend.
My mother is upset that the entire home town where I grew up *a bunch of gossiping gossipers* have talked about how I have 3 special needs children and how that must be so hard. She thinks I have Munchausen by proxy syndrome. I guess the other 42 families in the world with children who have the same genetic syndrome all have the same thing. She thinks that I am faking symptoms in Christopher to get sympathy. Being my children's mother isn't hard. Not at all. In fact it is quite fun. Some days are more difficult than others but they were given to me for a reason.
I am just glad they weren't given to a narrow-minded person like my mother.
6 comments:
I would probably visit even less than you do. I couldn't take it.
My mother is very judgemental about my middle son. It drives me insane and I once had to tell her that if she makes one more comment about him, she is no longer allowed in my house.
Shell, I told her the annual boys staying at her house for a week won't happen until she stops being so judgemental about them. They won't go there until I can be rest assured they won't be spanked for looking sideways.
Oh wow, I think I would have to back off from visiting, especially as the children get older and understand what she is saying. We had the unfortunate experience of haivng someones "grandmother" sit behind us at a T'Ball game the other night. Her grandson is most definitely sommewhere on the Autism spectrum, the mother refuses to take him to be tested because the father doesn't want to "admit" that there is something going on with his son. I'm assuming that was his mother behind us at the game. She was embarassed by the way he ran to bases, even though he was sooo proud of himself and smiled the whole way. She would yell things like "Run Forest Run"....it was awful. We also live in a small town where people tend to be a lot more judgemental as well. I understand she is your mother, and of course you love her, and I just you don't have that support as well. Your boys are precious, and as long as they know that their momma and daddy love them, that is all they will ever need!! :)
I would have gone ALL kinds of Aunt Crazy on her!!! Grandmother's are supposed to spoil and love their grandchildren and support their children, not make judgmental assumptions and spew hateful opinions.
I say even fewer visits!
I wouldn't visit.
What a wonderful mother you are to know your childrens limits and works and what doesn't. To see the beauty in their play. Thats what a real mom does for her children.
You are right about them being with you instead of your mom.
And this is exactly why you are the mother you are. This is exactly why God gave you these beautiful children. He knew they needed someone extra special, even more extra special than ever to take care of them.
Yeah, you should pass the glass of wine now. That cheese needs something to accompany it. ;)
(but it's very true).
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