PYHO: Broken

I thought I was going to die on Monday.  I really did.  I have something called Wolff-Parkinson-White which has lead to another condition called SVT where my heart rate will go up to 150 beats per minute or so and stay there.  It started being this way for 5-10 minutes.  Monday it lasted 45 minutes.  Monday, while my children played I passed out.  My husband found me on our bed as I lay with my cell phone in my hand texting him telling him I needed him home.

I need to have a procedure called a cardiac ablation.  I am scared something will go wrong.  What will my babies do without their mama?  I live for my babies!  I can't leave them now.  They are too young!  I am afraid to have this done but more afraid to NOT have this done.  If left untreated it CAN kill me.  I have much more to do here and am not ready to go yet.

I need more time with my boys!  I know some may wish their time away *and I do at times too* but cherish every second with them.  I want more times like these  

I want more sweet little boy hugs, more sweet little boys saying "I lub you mama to the moon and back and to infinity and beyond!", more snuggles, more kisses, more play time, just more....more of everything....

I need these boys as much as they need me and I can't let them down.