You've entered the "PPP" zone

Do...Do....Doo...Dooooo....You've entered the zone....the "PPP" parent zone....What is this you ask?  It's the Perpentially Pissed off Parent Zone....it's like the Twilight Zone



What is a Perpetually Pissed off Parent you ask?  This is the parent of a special needs child who is angry all the time.  There are a few different species of a PPP.  There's the PPP who has just learned of their child's diagnosis and is pissed at the world.  There's the PPP who is angry and pissed about fighting tooth and nail for what their child needs to succeed be it school placement, therapies, or services to help our children. 

Just like the 7 stages of grief, it is suggested that parents of special needs kids go through their own stages of grief.  It is a cyle however; parents of speical needs children tend to cycle through the stages of grief and and every once in a while it starts up again.  For example, when you have your "D" day, when you have your initial IFSP/IEP, subsequent evaluations, when you see other children around your child's age or even younger who are meeting their milestones on time/early and you are hit like a big mack truck with your child's development....

I believe there's a level of acceptence but there's always in the back of your mind the wanting to see your child developing typically.  There's always a bit of THIS CAN BE FIXED but unfortunately it can't.  Unless you got your medical degree from the School of Playboy like Jenny McCarthy and think that you can be cured, their skills will improve but the initial concerns will still be there.  I can't remove extra pieces of chromosomes from my child.  I wish I could.  He HAS inproved his skills.  A year ago he was just starting to walk, he had a few words.  Today he is running (although not well), he's able to converse with us (although a simple conversation) and you'd never know that was the same child!

The second type of PPP is the one who is tired of fighting and has become bitter.  I'm here as well unfortunately.  Sometimes parents have to fight for someone to recognize that their child might be not developing on schedule.  I had to question more than once, I questioned at 6 months, 9 months, etc.  Finally the doctors believed me after I brought them the Early Intervention report showing how behind he was.  Then it was fighting with the insurance company to finally agree to pay for the genetic testing.  Next it was fighting with the school district to get Christopher the appropriate services. 

It sucks but it is what it is.  I have to figure out how to get out of this funk.  I really do.  I can understand why there's a high divorce rate for parents of special needs children; I'm now taking the fight ode to my marriage and I don't want that.  I want us to work as a team.  At this point I don't know if I know how any more.