This face, this precious cherub of mine of whom I'd love to share a picture but my network is being wonky right now..., this beauty of mine is mean! He kicks me, hits, punches, throws things at me, and screams in my face. We were on the way home from a doctors appointment tonight and he didn't get his way. He threw his sunglasses at me, threw a water bottle at me, pinched my shoulder, and punched my head.
I don't understand how someone this little can have that much hate in him?! I want so much to relate to him and to have the fun relationship that I do with my other boys. Instead I dread being near him. My heart races, I try to do things with him and for him but I really want to not be near him.
I ended up walking in to my house with my mother-in-law standing in my kitchen and I sobbed to her how I can't take much more of him. I adore him but am afraid of my child. I am afraid of a 4 year old. I look at him and think "What does his future hold if he is this violent at such a young age?" What kind of person am I to think this about my child? I must be a monster.
8 comments:
{{{{{great BIG hugs}}}}}
I understand.
Several years ago, we had Hopper on some medication for her anxiety and her ADHD. We didn't realize it for right at 2 years, but she was having an allergic reaction to the medications. She started beating me up several times a day and 3 to 4 days out of every single week. For 2 years. I felt like I couldn't get away from her. I couldn't get away from the uncontrolled rages. It was incredibly scary. We were concerned she might hurt her little sister or that she might grab a weapon. It was absolute hell. No other way to put it.
I absolutely do not judge you. I understand. Know that I am not the only one out there who gets it. Others might be afraid to admit it, because it sounds horrible, but they still feel it.
Is he on any medications? If he is, it might be a good idea to check the possible side effects. Some side effects don't show up on the official medicine site but show up when other patients or patients' families start talking about what happened with their loved one. Hopefully, the problem is as 'simple' as a medication issue.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang onto hope. It gets better.
{{{{hugs}}}}
Right now he's on no medication. I've been asking how to deal with his behaviors but we were told to ignore him. It's hard when he follows me around or when we're stuck in a car like last night. He kicked me in my back. threw things at me, pinched me, and punched my head. I would love it someone said we needed to put him on medication. George doesn't want him on any medication at all. In my opinion, it it is needed that's what we do.
Missy,
Have you looked into 'holds'? How you can hold your child to calm him down? It does work. The one that seemed to work best with Hopper when she was in the middle of a meltdown was to sit behind her, have her hug her chest facing away from me, and then hold her arms still, so she couldn't flail. We held her until she calmed down - not for a specific time period. The only thing is that after she got older/taller/stronger, it was harder to do with her-especially when she would throw her head backwards and hit us in the face with her skull. But where he is little, I would think you would have some success with it.
I don't remember what they are called exactly. We learned about them through her teachers at school, although I vaguely recall discussing them with her doctor, as well. I know there are a series of non-violent ways to hold a child to de-escalate a situation and to calm them down.
Could you ask his doctor about them, or maybe a physical therapist that works with children with special needs?
Brave post, and you're having a perfectly normal reaction to a stressful situation.
I am so sorry that you are feeling helpless and in pain. I have no knowledge when it comes to special needs combined with severe behavioral issues, so all I can offer you is to say that you are NOT a monster, and you are doing the best you can. I'll say a prayer for wisdom and peace.
I had been doing restraints on him and giving him squeezes when he needed them. Unfortunately he's headbutting me and injuring me as a result. I have the name and number to a BCABA and will be contacting them to get some help. I can't do this anymore. He's such a sweet boy when he's able to be. It is so hard to sit there and watch him behave like he has been!
I'm so glad you have their number, and I hope you get some answers from the BCABA.
You are in my prayers, Missy.
{{{{{hugs}}}}
Our kids aren't perfect and they can push our buttons. I always love my boys, but there really are times when I don't like them all.
Post a Comment